What is joy? I know it is a fruit of the spirit, a name given to children, and something I struggle to have in my life. But what does it mean? What does it look like? Webster defines joy as "a feeling of great pleasure or happiness that comes from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being," but that's only the half of it. I know that God calls me to have joy in my life that comes from Him, no matter what the circumstances are around me. That even in the midst of suffering, I am called to have joy.
My best guess is that joy comes from a heart of gratitude. It is when I focus on all of God's promises and blessings in my life, that my heart might be full of joy. That is sure pretty hard for someone who does not have an overall positive outlook on life. I tend to be the one who looks at the negative, who sees the glass totally empty when it is actually half full. Lately, I have been looking at God's blessings in my life and feel so frustrated that I am struggling with this. He has blessed my life so much and I don't want to look back at this season of my life with regret. I am finding that in this season of my life I lack joy, whatever it means and I am just enduring and surviving. It feels terrible! I just mindlessly get through the days, like life is just passing me by yet feeling like I am weighed down by a ton of bricks on my back. I know that is not how God desires me to live and that is really not how I want to live either. Maybe it will get better if I just let go of all of it. Accept certain things in my life that I cannot change and be willing to change the things that I can. As I write, I think maybe that in order to find joy, I need to admit that I cannot do this all on my own strength and on my own will power. Maybe I just need to DAILY declare that I am in desperate need of God and need Him to work through me. Maybe its just about admitting that I can't do this life on my own. Letting go and letting God.
3 comments:
You are awesome! The realness and humbleness about you is contagious! I believe you do have joy and you are thankful for all the blessings God has given you! You are in a tough season...I remember being prego with Emma feeling depressed and feeling as if there was no light at the end of the tunnel (I was so tired and sick that I had no hope)! I knew I had a beautiful 2 year old that needed me, but I couldn't get past my funk! Somehow, I kept my eyes focused on God and even though I thought a joyful life was nowhere in reach along came Emma and things went back to normal, joy came rushing back! Hang in there sweet friend! xoxo!
Hang in there Andrea.
Joyful in hope,
Patient in affliction,
And Faithful in prayer! (Rom. 12:12) was an encouragement to me those last few months. Loving you.
Hey there friend. You and I have always known we are so alike in so many ways, more than I think we are aware. I struggle with this too. I find that in the times I feel weighed down because of our schedule, demands, etc. I am just waiting to get through these times so that I can relax and not feel stressed...and then something else comes up. Life just doesn't work that way. There will always be something. What helps me is to stop, take a deep breath, pray, and realize that you are living your dream RIGHT NOW...as hectic and as busy as life gets sometimes, it is your life, and it is GOOD because it is from GOD. I know you know all of this. We are so blessed :) In case you are wondering, I see JOY in you everytime I am around you. But, I know how you feel. Love you.
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