Last night as I was tucking Kaden in bed he said he didn't want me to leave him because he didn't want to be alone. I reminded him like I do each time he says this to me, that he is not alone, that God is with him. This time he said, "But I can't see him!" I tried to respond with a good answer for him, but as I was trying, he continued by adding, "But I cant hear God either!" I stopped for a moment and said, "Well then, let's ask God to speak to you tonight and to give you ears to hear his voice." As we prayed, my heart sunk as I realized just how long it had been since I had longed to hear the voice of my father and asked him to speak to me!
Today, in the quiet moments before I wrote, God spoke to me and I heard him. Thank God! He reminded me of the church of Ephesus in the book of Revelation. It happens to be my favorite chapter because this is the church who had forsaken their first love and in this chapter he calls them to return. I could just hear him say to me, "Return to me, your first love." Ah, my heart longs to return to my first love. I have felt so distant from him for so long now. I need to know my Savior again. To reconnect my spirit with his, and to be led by his spirit again. I need to get rid of the idols I have stored up in my heart so that I can worship him again. In the past several months I have realized that my idols are my little ones. They capture all of my being daily as they look to me to meet all of their needs. And as I try to meet their needs, I look to my other idol, Matt, to meet all of my needs. My idols are sweet, good, and blessings. I have made these sweet gifts from God the very thing that fills my heart and takes his place as Savior in my life. How do I rid myself of idols like these? I think God gave me the answer today as he spoke to my heart. I simply need to return to my first love. All I need to do is return to him and my idols won't be my idols anymore. They will instead be my children and my husband, who God has so richly blessed my life with. They will take their proper place in my heart as I allow God to take his, and as I return to my first love.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing this. I clicked on your blog from the Farmers' page and I needed to read this. Funny how God works.
I've been distant from my first love in all the commotion of life and I so long to return to Him and hear His voice. Thank you for opening your heart so that He could speak to mine.
May God bless your family abuntantly as we celebrate Him this Christmas.
-Crystal Woolcock
So beautiful Andrea! Thank you for this reminder, you aren't alone, it is so hard to continue to put Him first when there are kids, people, work, church, etc right in front of us, tangible things! His heart just melted for you, His child as you opened up ur heart to Him! He loves you girl! Thank you for sharing, may we all return to our First Love!
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